WHAT DOES “SOLOGAMY” MEAN?
It is an English term which indicates the act of marrying oneself.
Although it has no legal value, and for that reason it is often mocked, this act has a profound spiritual value as it is a permanent commitment you make to yourself to give priority to love and self-care, searching above all in yourself the reasons for living a happy, profound and authentic life.
WHEN WAS “SOLOGAMY” FIRST MENTIONED?
A woman called Linda Baker was apparently the first woman to marry herself in the United Stated in 1993 as a celebration of her 40th birthday. Linda wanted to celebrate this important moment in her life and felt that a wedding ceremony was the right way to do it. Seven bridesmaids and seventy-five guests, including friends and family, took part in the event. Linda explained her choice by saying that in this precise moment of her life she felt the need to do something of deep importance to herself.
In 2003, in one of the episodes of Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, announced the she would marry herself. In the same year also Jennifer Hoes, a Dutch artist, decided to communicate a marriage to herself.
Since then, the reports of women marrying themselves ( at the moment it seems there are more women than men) have been on the rise in the UK, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands, Taiwan and the USA. Last year, the first ceremony of this kind was celebrated also in Italy!
IS “SOLOGAMY” A RITE OF PASSAGE?
In the western world increasingly devoid of rituals and spirituality, the act of marrying oneself can be considered a rite of passage essential for the growth, identity and development of a person.
The marriage to oneself offers the opportunity to officially recognize one’s own value, one’s own authenticity, and can be celebrated as the beginning or end of a journey that leads to discovering, knowing, loving and taking care of oneself, to accomplish a process and live the change. A world full of love begins with a world full of love for oneself.
DOES “SOLOGAMY” PRECLUDE MARRIAGE TO ANOTHER PERSON?
Absolutely not. Marriage to oneself does not exclude other relationships which actually tend to become stronger and deeper. Feeling safe, independent and happy means being able to recognize genuine and satisfying relationships. As you can truly love someone else only when you know how to love yourself deeply.
IS “SOLOGAMY” A SELFISH AND NARCISSISTIC ACT?
Rather the opposite. Marriage to oneself is a recognition of the fact that we are unique and special, just like everyone else. And that we cannot really love another person if we do not love ourselves first. Love for oneself brings balance in our lives, allowing us to be authentic, free and open to others. This will be reflected in love for life and in external and everyday relationships.
HOW IS IT CELEBRATED?
The marriage to oneself can be organized as a real wedding, with a personalized ceremony, the dress, the guests, the reception or it can be an intimate and private moment with oneself in a place and with rituals that have a special meaning.
There are no rules, except those of one’s own heart.
May aim will be to help you creating a ceremony script that will reflect your self love.